Monday, December 19, 2011


Well this article was by smita shenoy was in a magazine which i read this morning and found this article quite interesting so thought of sharing with everyone .... 

"WHAT IF......" and  "IF ONLY ......"
These two phases haunt us ,through out our lives ,reducing us from confident,self assured individuals  to depressed ,morose budles of nerves.
"what if ....." and "if only ..." are two ends of the same spectrum .  one creates self doubt ,while other is the harbinger of regret .

"what if ....." simply prevents us from fulfilling our dreams because it fills us with a feeling of uncertainty as to whether we are doing the right thing or not .The two words act as a roadblock in the path of individual  progress as well as collective growth .
while it is prudent to observe a certain amount of caution in any work we perform ,it is never advisable to constantly give morbid thoughts about what can go wrong .
Giving it to panic  everytime  we think of accomplishing  a task will only lead to failure and resultant frustration and depression. Continuous suppression  of ideas  and objectives will hamper our physical ,mental and spiritual growth .

Here she gives an example of her friend Meena .
Meena has been thinking of embarking on a world tour with her 
husband for past four years but has never made it past her door step .
The moment she decides to set out ,the monster called 'What if...."
rears it ugly head . She starts preparing a mental questionnaire where each question starts with you gussed it.......

"What if it snows heavily in switzerland and we are trapped ?"
 " What if hurricane katrina strikes New orleans when we are 
   visiting the state ?"
"What if an earthquake strikes japan or china when we are 
    passing through it ?"

Like Meena most of us succumb to the "What if " questionnaire and 
give up many of our dreams  without even attempting .if we reflect on this doubts with a calm and composed mind ,we will realise that most of our doubts are baseless. Most of the so-called hurdles are created in our minds. And if something has to go wrong ,it will. As they say  
'Que sera,sera' or ' whatever will be ,willbe '.
All can we do is to take the necessary precaution and then pray for the best and be prepared for the worst .

If I could narrate the much loved parable of the frog in the well with a slightly modern touch ,it would probably go like this: 
There were two frogs in a well .one set off boldly to see the  world and got enriched by experience .The other remained in the well all his life because a witch had cursed him that through out his life he would have to fight the twin brothers 'what if' and  'if only' and unless he showed courage and wisdom the brothers would win the battle. That was what had happend exactly . Everytime the frog sat on the edge of the well and thought of exploring the earth ,'what if' would visit him and plunge him into panic and doubt. since he was never bold enough to shake it off ,he would leap back into the well and stay there. Soon the years flew by and one day lying on his deathbed ,the frog was visited by other brother 
'if only' . He closed his eyes and thought of innumerable times he had thought of leaving the well ,but had not. If only he had had the courage to do it ,if only he had followed his friend on his journey ,if only he had another chance ,if only.......With these regrets in his mind,the frog breathed its last .

I am sure none of us want to pass our lives -half of it in itself - doubt and the other half in regret . The time to act is now . Take valuable lessons from your past ,use the experience wisely to guide your future and live fully in your present . Only then will you be able to banish the two siblings 'what if' and 'if only' from your life.

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